


Blonde Bombshell Blonde Barf Boy

by Paxxer



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paxxer/pseuds/Paxxer
Summary: A lot can change in a few years. Jaune and Yang learn this after a few years of not seeing each other. Who knows what will happen next. Focus on our two favorite blondes and their times at beacon. Warning, foul language and sexual themes.





	1. Prologue

Well you guys, this is my first story and fanfic and I am proud to introduce it to you all! This first chapter is a little short but I’m just wanting to dip my toes in and see the response from the audience. I mean, a thousand words… Oh well. I take criticism with open arms so if you see something you like tell me and if you see something you hate tell me as well! I just want to thank a 30-year-old English dude with a “Heart” made of Aran. I mean iron. Why did that show up? Anyway, please enjoy my passion project experience!

 

“Well shit...” That was Taiyang’s last coherent thought as he was about to die. Of course his teammates crossed his mind, as did the highlights of his too short (in his opinion) of a life. Bringing a shit-faced Qrow home from a long night of drinking. If you asked him later, he would absolutely deny calling Tai his best friend, and the blonde-headed brawler would agree. At least behind open doors anyway. That one time when he and Summer spent an entire week in a staring contest so intense that it left both of them with bloodshot eyes for months. It was her that convinced him to request to be assigned here, but it wasn’t her fault. Last, but not least, he thought of Raven. A fleeting memory of her passed and his only regret not asking her out sooner. If he survived this then he absolutely would, but that seemed nigh impossible now. However, it was, “well shit...” that was the last thing that crossed his mind right before the Beowolf’s claws viciously eviscerated his trachea. 

…

…

…

Except, it didn’t. he didn’t die. In fact, he was still alive, and relatively unharmed except for a few scratches due to his aura depleting at least half an hour ago. As he stood there doing what historians would come to call the most accurate portrayal of a fish of all time, the silvery glint of a blade stared back at him through the jaws of the aforementioned creature of Grimm. “Get your head out of your ass Goldilocks! Us blonde bastards got to stick together you know!” Tai snapped out of his daze and noticed an Ursa approaching the man with his back turned. Instincts forged in trial by fire and years of experience kicked in and the young man was suddenly upon the ferocious beast. Ducking under the first swing by the monster, Taiyang blocked the second strike with his bracers on his wrist, the ground underneath cracking and groaning under the pressure. Caught in a stalemate, Tai threw the paw off of him and by extension threw the creature off balance. Reaching up with a mighty uppercut, he managed to knock the head clean off the shoulders of the monster.  
Almost collapsing right there from exhaustion, Tai leaned over and took a quick breather whilst surveying the area. After deeming that the vicinity was cleared for the time being, he slumped down to the ground just to catch his breath. The skirmish against the forces of darkness had lasted hours longer than the original reports suggested due to the large numbers of Grimm. Many hunters and huntresses could be seen lying face down in the torn up soil, easily distinguishable by their bright clothing. The worst part simply was that this was not the worst that he had even seen. At least the report was accurate in the type of Grimm they would be confronting on their quest to defend a small trading city. He has heard stories of entire teams being wiped out simply because of incomplete information. It was a tragedy, but that was simply the way it is.  
Suddenly, he remembered that he was, in fact, not alone. A little embarrassed by his rude behavior, he turned to acknowledge his saviour and give his thanks, but abruptly came face to face with the man himself. “Oops, my bad.” The strange man chuckles and scratches the back of his head. “My mother always tried to drill personal space into my head. I guess it never stuck.” “Are you kidding!” Tai interjects, “You just saved my life! Who are you anyway? I thought I had the monopoly on blonde-haired blue-eyes hunters in Vale.” He jokes to the mysterious man. For all his confidence on the battlefield, Tai wondered, he doesn’t seem to have much confidence off of it at all. He was almost socially inept. It was only his experience with Raven that he was able to keep the conversation going. “Oh! I’m sorry! The name is Nicholas. Nicholas Arc.” The name actually rang a bell with Tai. Well, not Nicholas, but the Arc name was a well-respected one for their efforts during the Color War and even farther back. He only wondered how this uncertain man could be related to one of the most respected names across Remnant. “I guess every family has a black sheep.” Tai thought to himself. “So…” Nicholas attempted to break the silence, “I wish all these Grimm would just…knock it off.” He gestured to the remains of the Ursa head.

…  
…  
…

“HAHAHAHA!” Taiyang howls. “AHAHAHA OOOOHH…”  
He was practically bent over in laughter at this point. When he calms down he gestures to Nick. “You…You are funny. I have never met someone with a sense of humor as good as mine.”  
“Aw well, I guess you could say it…runs in my jeans.” Gesturing to his denim pants. Tai was about to enter his second wind of laughter when he noticed the battle still raging around them, reality slowly seeping in once more. Tai looks to his new companion and is surprised as he sees a different man than the one he was previously talking to. The shift in Nick’s personality was so palpable it was honestly intimidating to the Fighting Dragon. Nicholas noticed Tai staring and look him in the eyes. They both nodded to each other and re-entered the battle.

Both men would have died many times that day if not for the new friendship they formed of the battlefield. The promise of drinks and taking it easy provided one extra incentive for two blondes who swept through the warzone like Yellow Tornadoes creating paths of destruction behind them. Little did either of those men know at the time the significance of one small Beowolf, but without it, neither of them would be the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Well, that’s chapter one done. I know the biggest complaint is going to be, Wait, I thought this was a Jaune X Yang fic. Literally neither of them showed up. Well, I just want to really set the stage so to speak. I don’t want to just go the easy way out and be like “oh. Yah their families are just sort of friends. Deal with it” and also, the pacing for this story will probably be a little rushed, but keep in mind I have never done this before. Like ever. Sooooo thank you for reading. It’s the story that inspires and drives me, but the readers who encourage me to keep going! Thanks!  
~Paxxer


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys. Thanks to everyone who read and favorited/followed this story after a small teaser. This is slightly longer than the first chapter, but still not up to the amount that I want to reach. I decided to crank this out right away, but most updates won’t come out this often. I just felt particularly inspired by this community’s reaction so thanks again. I appreciate all the reviews and took your suggestions into practice. Well, I hope you enjoy this slightly longer chapter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jaune!” Juniper Arc calls up to her son, “Don’t forget to bathe! You want to look your best to meet your new neighbors!

“Mom…” Jaune grumbled. 

Come on, he was almost ten years old for Oum’s sake! ‘I’m almost a preteen now. Not some baby.’ He thought to himself. Besides, he had already showered today, despite his mother’s lack of confidence in him. ‘Boom mom.” Jaune mused happily.

His mother’s cry attracted more attention than just his as he heard, “Oh Jauney!” From a different part of the house, two of his sisters called out to him. Jaune Arc loved his sisters, he really did, but sometimes they could be a little overbearing. Well, he supposed, that was to be expected when one had seven sisters. As they approached their younger brother, Jaune was already trying to figure out what their game was. 

He turned to face his opposition and was surprised to find it was the oldest three of his sisters. It was unusual and truly dangerous combination in his eyes. His oldest sister was Sapphire and she was almost an adult in the eyes of the law. She had shoulder length blonde hair and eyes blue as the sky on a cloudless day. The tallest of the group, she struck an intimidating figure for someone of her age and had a shapely figure that drove the local boys mad. She was almost a spitting image of her mother at her age, except she had the trademark blue eyes of the Arc bloodline. One of her favorite things to talk about was her future, since independence was on the forefront of her mine. She would spout on and on to anyone that so happened to be caught in her trap (disguised as a rant) about how she was to be completely independent once she was old enough and that she was perfectly capable to make a life for herself. She had every second of the next five years panned out with meticulous detail in her mind and with these plans, Sapphire felt she was ready to leave her family the second she turned 18. 

But, even through his young naivety, Jaune saw the truth. She loved her family. Because the age gap between her and the rest of the siblings, she helped raise all of the kids. Heck, she was practically a mother to most of the children when Juniper was stretched too thin or needed a moment to not have to deal with her multiple children. Jaune knew that she would make a great mother someday, should she finally leave the house and realize her independence but he didn’t think that would happen anytime soon. Oh, he knew that she was flat broke, but he really didn’t want to burst her bubble.

Next came the oldest set of twins that Juniper gave birth to. They were Coral and Sable Arc respectively. At first glance, one would never guess the two were twins as the relationship was obviously paternal, but upon closer inspection they would soon learn their mistake. After spending more than approximately five minutes watching the two interact, all the doubts would soon be quelled as the two were obviously the best of friends and probably had been since birth. Nigh inseparable, one would always find them together and strangers soon realized they were a package deal.

Jaune sighed as his eldest sisters screeched around the corner into his room like they were in that new Bruce Sprillis movie, Kuroyuri Drift. 

“Jaunee~” Sable cooed to her little brother, “Mom said you have to clean up~” 

“The jokes on you,” Jaune shot back to his sisters, “Not only have I showered, but mom also made me sweep and mop the floors, do the dishes, and clean my room.”  
In the Arc household, that was no small feat. Cleaning the dishes and silverware of the family of ten takes him at least 45 minutes. Also, Nicholas Arc was one of the most successful hunters of his generation and the strongest in Ansel. This provided the Arc family a generous income compared to most in the surrounding area and therefore allowed them to purchase a nicer living space. They owned a fancy home in a nice community with plenty of amenities. While having a large house was unintentionally a social statement, it was more of a practical decision out of necessity for enough living space for ten people than it was for show. It also sometimes housed the occasional blonde headed ruffian that stopped by on occasion. However, the adults in the family secretly suspected it was about to see significantly less use.

“I think you are forgetting something though.” Sapphire smirked to the small group and gestured to the twins. Now it was time for Jaune to be confused. He honestly didn’t know if he had forgotten something. Wanting to make a good first impression with the neighbors, everything had to be perfect in his eyes. There weren’t many kids in Ansel his age and from what his parents said their new neighbor had some kids around his age. The amount of nine year olds he knew only came to about a dozen that he knew, but his luck was about to change! He had to make a solid first impression on the new kid so that he might actually have a friend outside his family. Undoubtedly, Jaune Arc was the least popular kid in Ansel. Inheriting the social awkwardness from his dad, he skulked around in the shadow of his sisters wondering if one day he would make a name for himself with his own friends. Really, that was one of the only things that Jaune truly wanted.

Lost in thought, Jaune failed to notice Coral and Sable slowly meander to either side of their younger brother. A quick snap from his eldest sister brutally brought him back to the present as his sisters crashed into him pinning his arms to his sides. His eyes widened with fear as reality came crashing down upon him in a single instant.

“No…”

“No.”

“No!”

“NO!” You are not doing this to me! Not again!” Jaune begged to his sisters. “Please don’t do this. I have to make a good impression for the new neighbors.”

“Oh, it will certainly be unforgettable.” Coral purred from his left.

“They say first impressions last a lifetime. It’s just in your best interests that we make this one count.” Sable confirmed to his right.

While they were all pranksters within the family, anyone who knew them knew that there was no malicious intent behind their actions. None of Arc kids wanted to torment another out of fear of not only angering their other siblings, but of their mother as well. Besides, all of the children really did care for each other as that was one of the most important values in the Arc Clan. On the flip side, while he didn’t necessarily enjoy this behavior, he was happy to indulge his sisters to see them happy. After everything else, he knew that his family would be there for him no matter what happens. Sure he might lose his only outside friend, but he would keep the seven within.  
Resigning himself to his new fate, Jaune was led by his sisters into the twin’s room. As he entered the familiar room, he was greeted by a sight that was not familiar to him. The object in question was in fact a man’s tie, which quickly found itself around his head obscuring his vision. This seemed suspicious to him as he didn’t own any ties and his father only owned one for the occasional professional appearance he had to make and this certainly wasn’t it. He wondered where his sisters got it from since it clearly wasn’t from the family. This raised questions in his mind but were soon forgotten as his sisters started planning the death of his already dying social life.

“What do you think we should do Sable?” Coral asked her sister.

“It depends on how bad you want him to cry when company arrives” The aforementioned sister replied.

“Now now,” Sapphire interjects. “We don’t want to scar him too badly. Let’s just do the usual ladies.” 

Fortunately, he knew exactly what that meant so he was prepared for what was to come. Unfortunately, what was entailed for him was not pleasing on the best of days and especially not today. But, it is not like he could do anything to stop it however.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30 minutes later after much struggling for both parties, Jaune finally emerged from the twin’s room feeling like a changed person. Not that it was a good thing from his perspective however. It simply meant that everybody knew he was completely whipped by his sisters. His neighbors didn’t need to know that per se but that point was now officially moot. 

Suddenly, his youngest sister approached from her room next door.

“Oh big brother! You look really nice!”

“Aw, thank you Amber, but this isn’t exactly my look you see.” Jaune replied to his youngest sister. Amber Arc was 6 years old and the youngest of the Arc children. She was a little short for her age, but his mom said she was due for a growth spurt. Having the darkest hair color of the group she was still technically blonde, but a dash of vermilion made sure stuck out only slightly. Freckles littered her face and a missing front tooth left her having a large gappy smile most of the time. She always saw the best in everybody and her older sisters tried their damnedest to keep it that way. How could they have some creepy stranger ruining the purity of their little sister?

“Oh well, at least you’ll look pretty for the neighbors.” Retorted Amber, cheerful as ever.

The neighbors! Jaune had completely forgotten about them. They were supposed to be here any minute now. 

…

“Ding Dong!”

…

That was about the time Jaune’s brain completely shut down in anxiety. 

“They’re here…”

“They’re here.”

“They’re Here!”

Unable to find the time to change clothes, Jaune realized he finally had to face the music. ‘Why couldn’t they just mind their own business’ Jaune thought to himself. Inheriting his social skills from his dad, he had a hard enough time making friends as it was, let alone his current position. Trying to salvage as much of his original plan to impress his neighbors, Jaune rushes to the door to greet them.

“I got it!” he exclaims to the rest of the household.

Being too short to see the fisheye lens imbedded in the door, Jaune just hoped for the best as he opened up to the outside. 

…

“Mr. Tai!?” Jaune asks as he looks to the man at the door.

“Hey sport! How are you doing?” Taiyang Xiao Long shoots back to the young man with a large grin spread across his face.

“I am not doing so hot right now if you can’t tell.” He gestures to his outfit. “Wait what are you doing here? You don’t usually stop by without telling us first.”

“What do you mean? I made sure to tell Juniper I was stopping by today.”

“Really?” Jaune questioned. “Hmm. I guess we are having more than one group of guests over.” Once Tai entered, Jaune abruptly slammed the door shut lost in thought.

“Uhh… Who else were you expecting? I can come by later if your parents are having someone over.”

“No no, you are fine. Our new neighbors are moving in today and we expected them to stop by in a little bit.”

“Oh, new neighbors eh?” Tai said knowingly with a small smirk forming on his face, “What has your mom told you about them?”

“All she said was that a man was moving in with his two children to the house next door later today.” Jaune replied to the older man as he led him to the guest bedroom.

“Uh Jaune, why are we in the guest room?”

“Because this is where you sleep when you stop by?” Jaune questioned back

“Oh yeah, alright, but let’s say hi to your mom first. How about that?” Tai responded.

“Okay, sure thing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they made their way to the kitchen, Jaune asked Tai the burning question he had in his mind. 

“So, why are you here Mr. Tai? You don’t usually stop by just to hang out.” He asked.

“Well, I have to check on a recent purchase of mine nearby and I wanted to say to the family while I was in town.”

The answer seemed to satisfy Jaune as he replied with a simple, “Oh, okay.” 

As they approached the kitchen Juniper noticed the two boys coming.

“Hello Tai! Hi Jaune, what are you wearing?” 

Arranged in an ensemble of a dress and high heels, Jaune gestured in the general direction of the girl’s rooms as if that were answer enough, and to Juniper, it was.

“Oh, I see. I’ll talk to them about that later. Well, it is good to see you Taiyang. How was the trip? You sure had to move a lot of stuff.”

“It was fine, dealing with the movers was a test in patience, but it wasn’t as awful as I had originally imagined.” Taiyang responded.

“Wait… movers… What are you two talking about?” Jaune asked his present company with a confused look in his face. 

Juniper looked to her son and answered, “Oh, you haven’t figured it out yet? I thought for sure the girls or Nicky would have told you. Taiyang is your new neighbor.” 

…

…

…

“Really!?” Jaune asked as he finally regained the ability to form a coherent thought. “That is awesome! This is the best day ever! I thought I was going to make a fool out of myself in front of the cool new people, but instead, it’s just Mr. Tai!”

“Wow, I’m hurt. Why would you say those things strange little girl?” Taiyang shoots back to the young man currently dressed in softcore drag.

“Okay boys let’s take it easy.” Juniper coming in to resolve the “conflict” before it started, “There is no need to pick fights with your neighbors.”

A knock at the door caught the attention of the party in the kitchen. ‘This must be Taiyang’s children.’ Jaune thought to himself. He very vaguely remembered the older man talking about his kids one of the nights that the blonde hunter stayed up late and shared stories with the entire family. ‘I hope they are as cool as Mr. Tai. He didn’t even flinch when he saw what my sisters did to me. I bet that is them at the door right now actually,’

“I got it.” He told the adults in the kitchen. He quickly walked to the door and opened it. A young girl dressed in a red cape with auburn hair is what stared back at him as he surveyed the front porch. She was short, shorter than Amber even, and had a more petite build than his sister as well. They appeared to be about the same age and he had a feeling they would be good friends in time.

“Hi.” The young girl looked to her feet and shifted her weight nervously, “My name is Ruby Rose. I am your new neighbor. It’s nice to meet you.”  
Jaune was not good with social cues, but due to his massive experience in being nervous about social situations, he recognized immediately that Ruby was just as awkward as he was. This calmed him down a little bit and pushed him to properly respond in a timely manner for his own standards. It only took him about 30 seconds this time as opposed to the couple of minutes it usually took him.

“Hi Ruby, my name is Jaune. I think your dad is in the kitchen if you want to catch up with him.”

“Okay…” She muttered as she rushed past him in the direction of the kitchen.

‘Well,’ Jaune thought, ‘at least she is as difficult to talk to as I am.’

Someone approaching the front door brought his attention back to the present. From afar, the figure appeared to be a young man in overalls with grime all over him. Once the child came closer, Jaune had to reevaluate his first impression. The figure was absolutely female as she got closer and Jaune noticed more details he missed. The young girl had on a well-worn pair of overalls on and tennis shoes that appeared to be in similar condition. She had two pigtails of blonde hair on the back of her head that trailed down to the small of her back. She had some muck on her face and when she smiled the stark white of her teeth contrasted with her dirty face. ‘She is the biggest tomboy I have ever seen and that is even after Sapphire.’ He thought as she got closer.’

“Hi!” She cheerily exclaimed as she approached the young man face to face, “I’m your new neighbor. My name is Yang. Yang Xiao Long.”

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There is chapter two folks. I’m sure some of the more versed fans will notice some of these characters, but I assure you it won’t be a complete copy and paste. I intend to make this story my own and that includes OC’s. Please remember to Follow/Favorite and leave any feedback you have good or bad. Thanks a ton!


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